My Favorite Musician Jokes
Q: What do you call 2 guys that hang around with musicians?
A: A drummer and a singer...
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one...
He holds up the light bulb and the world revolves around HIM...
Q: How do you get a guitar player to turn down, and stop playing?
A: Put music in front of him...
Q: What's the difference between a saxophone, and a lawnmower?
A: The lawnmower is probably in tune...
Q: How do you know when the drum riser is level?
A: When the drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth...
Q: How do you know when there's a female vocalist at the door?
A: She doesn't know when to come in...
Q: What's the difference between a viola, and a coffin?
A: The viola has the stiff on the outside...
Q: What do you do when a trombone player knocks on your door?
A: Pay 'em for the pizza...
Q:What's the difference between a banjo, and a trampoline?
A: It's more fun to jump on a banjo...
Q: What is the definition of optimism?
A: A contra-basoon player with a pager and a cell phone...
Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...
Q: How do you get every note on a cello to always to be in tune?
A: Cut it up and make a marimba out of it...
Q: How do you know when the violas are out of tune?
A: The bows are moving.
Q: How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
A: The longer he knocks, the slower it gets...
Q: What is hell like?
A: An eternal drum check...
Feel
free to email me to add to the list.